if you really knew me

If you really knew me, you'd know that it's hard for me not to capitalize when I'm supposed to. 

You'd know that I have a birthmark on my left leg. 

You'd know that I don't like my fingers.

If you really knew me, you'd know that I need a job, but don't want to get one. 

You'd know that I'd rather go to the movies with myself than with my friends. 

You'd know that I'm OCD about the light switches going the same direction. 

If you really knew me, you'd know that I feel bad saying no. That I'm a major pushover.

You'd know that sometimes it takes me a half hour to get ready for bed because I'm too busy making faces at myself in the mirror. 

You'd know that my best friend is my brother. 

If you really knew me, you'd know that I'm really bad at remembering the words to songs.

You'd know I've never broken a bone. 

You'd know that I'm terrified of leaving high school. 

If you really knew me, you'd know that I say I have no regrets, but I really do. 

You'd know that a man in a well-fitted suit could get me with one smile. 

If you really knew me, you'd know that I love trees.

I wanna know you.

I wanna know you. 

I wanna memorize your face, every freckle, every scar. 

I wanna know what makes you tick. 

I wanna know what I have to do to get you. Even if it's just for a little while, I know I want you. 

I wanna know you better than I know myself. 

I want you to make me want to forget myself.

I wanna put my feet in a river with your feet. Wanna hold your hand on the ferris wheel. 

I wanna go to Paris with you.

Lose myself in the beauty of it...and of you.

I wanna know your favorite instrument and pretend I know everything about it.

I wanna paint your fingernails? Yeah, I do.

I wanna know your mother's maiden name and hear stories about your grandma. 

I wanna know what your dad does for a living and if he graduated from college.

I wanna have a candlelit dinner in a tree house with you.

I wanna know what your shampoo smells like. If there's clothes laying all over your room.

I wanna know the first thing you do when you get home from school.

I want you to want to know me.

I want the smile for her to be the smile for me.

I wanna know you.

I wanna know you bad.

Ordinary World

Fluorescent Lights

Charolette Hughes is a normal high school senior in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. She goes to school each day, afraid to skip. She picks her best friend up for school each morning. But one morning they're running late and get in a car crash. She's only in the hospital for a few days, but her friend is in a coma. She feels horrible about what happened, and falls into a deep depression.

Will she ever be the same again?
Can she come back to reality and forgive herself?

sometimes me and my friends make stupid jokes

There really is only One Direction to take in life and that leads you to Linkin Park. 
Remind me, do you live three doors up or Three Doors Down?
If you start limping on the way to my house, just Switchfoot.
Sorry I didn't get your email, My System of a Down.
I was just wondering, can I get my Nickelback?
I thought about you last night and Creed.
This is Whitney, Houston we have a problem.
Are we in a Fiest?
Don't hate me because you're an Outkast.
Usher me the way to happiness.
Could I borrow Fiddy Cent?
You've Britney Speared my heart.

word to your mother

I spoke with my mom the other day. And do you wanna know what she said to me? She said,

"You've only got a month left."

What's that supposed to mean? I know the obvious, school. But it means so much more. Only a month left of childhood. Only a month left of no responsibilities. Only a month left of sitting in the front yard picking grass. Only a month left of free housing.

Life hit me the other day. It hit me hard.

tell me i'm your national anthem

Regrets

I regret falling for you.
    I regret losing you.
        I regret saying maybe.


I regret being shy.
    I regret being a pushover.
        I regret being invisible.


I regret procrastinating.
    I regret not reading enough books.
        I regret spending all my savings.


I regret telling my secrets.
    I regret letting you decide how I feel.
        I regret wasting precious time on you.


I regret wearing skater shoes.
    I regret not trying harder.
        I regret coloring inside the lines.
 

newspaper times

Meal includes eight pounds of ground pickles.
Plus you get bad news: it's 10,000 calories. 

the inevitable

Change. 
I try to run from it, but it always manages to catch up with me. No matter if I go willingly or if my parents have to drag me out of the house by my gross split ends, it's coming.
It's inevitable. I can't hide from the inevitable.

Every time I turn around, change has gotten closer than the last time I saw it. It keeps trying to be my friend, but let's get real. That's not ever going to happen.


Change will never be my friend...

Unless it's bringing you along with it.
Watch out.

Too much goodness.

The ones that stay are the good ones. The movies you just can't stop thinking about. Right now I can't stop thinking about The Hunger Games. 
Literally. 
Everything reminds me of it. Who's seen that and can't not think about it?

Hugo definitely deserves a spot on the list. This movie makes me want to make movies so bad. I was depressed after I saw it. But a good depressed.

But my all-time fav right now is Flipped. I bought it for myself for Christmas, wrapped it and put it underneath the Christmas tree. That's enough explanation, right?
You should watch it. Like right now, go rent it.

I'm jealous...again

Just A Game

I don't know where I am, 

I don't know this place. 

Don't recognize anybody, 

Just the same old dirty face.
See these people, they lie,
And I don't know who to believe anymore.

But there comes you,
To keep me safe from harm
There comes you,
To take me in your arms
Is it just a game?
I don't know.
Is it just a game?
I don't know.

Pleading eyes that break my heart
So homesick I can feel
But I know I must play my part 

And tears I must conceal,

There comes you,
To keep me safe from harm
There comes you,
To take me in your arms

Is it just a game?
I don't know
To keep you safe from my bow

Take my hand and my heart races
Flames illuminate our faces
And we are on fire
Blow a kiss to the crowd
They're our only hope now.

And now I know my place.
And now I know my place.
We're all just pieces in their games. 

These are the lyrics to my favorite song right now. The first time I heard it, seriously, I wanted to cry it's so good. These words paint such a vivid picture, with so much emotion. I'm jealous of Birdy and everybody knows it. She's a 15-year-old girl from England writing songs like this, and I can't even write my own poem for my blog.

Here's the link to the song if you wanna listen to it: Just A Game - Birdy

I'm Jealous

Pretty 

by Jewel 

There is a pretty girl 

on the 

Face 

of the magazine 

And 

all I see 

are my dirty 

hands 

turning the page 

I'm so jealous of really short poems like this. They say so much by saying so little. One-liners have a place in my heart. It's all about the simplicity of it. And it's so much more powerful because it's all by itself.

P.S. 

by Jewel 

I wrote those nice 

poems only because 

the honest ones 

would frighten you 

It's just really good, isn't it? I love it because you can interpret it any way you want. It's specific and vague at the same time.

Is it too much to ask?

Just a few things I've really been wanting lately.

How cute is this right now?

Also, we can't forget about my boy Josh. I mean how good is he looking in this picture? Too good, is the correct answer.

Look at ME.

Look at me like you look at her. 

Think of me like you think of her.

Call me back as fast as you call her back.

Walk with me like you walk with her.

Read by me like you read by her.

Be nervous to see me like you're nervous to see her.

Spend every minute with me like you spend every minute with her.

Trust me like you trust her.

Love me back like you love her back. 

Come on in.

I can't decide if I want you in my dreams or not. It's so tempting to let you stay for just one night.

I'm getting weaker every hour. Soon enough my bones will break from the constant pressure.

Should I give in and let you stay? Or do what's best for me and my bones and forget you ever came? I know what I want to do, but what am I supposed to do? Who even does what they're supposed to do these days? Forget it. 

You're in my head and I'm tired of trying to force you out. Come on in, stay awhile.

InSaNiTy

I wish my bones weren't so smart. Why do they have to be right every time?

They whispered the other day to let go. I'll DIE before I let go. Nothing my bones will ever say can convince me to let go. I'm holding on even if it drives me to insanity. I don't have the heart to let go.

My bones strangle me. They're stubborn. I'm stubborn.

They tell me it'll be better once I let go, but what if I don't want things to be better?
What if I'd rather wallow in self pity? But my bones don't get that.
They think they know me, but how can they when I don't even know myself?

Is this funny or what?

"Life sucks, and then you die."

Every day we have to same routine.
We go to school to get "smart."
We go to work so we can get money to afford a good college.
There we get "smarter" to help us find a mediocre job so we can get more money to live a cushioned life.
And every day after that is the same thing: work, come home, sleep.
We spend 60% of our lives working so we can retire when we're 70 and have our own children put us in an old folks home.
 
So why do we worry so much if one day we'll all be dead?

Words of Wisdom